The strange journey of Chris Myers

So our old friend Jason Webber was caught trusting folks on a private website, who then leaked his ruminations on his new boss, the Mayor of Toledo.  Never mind the source of the leaks.  Remember the Bush Administration’s attempt to destroy former ambassador Joe Wilson by leaking the undercover identity of his wife, Valerie Plame? 
They tried to leak the story to journalist after journalist, but no one with ethics would bite.  Then they found a sleazeball who had no scruples and the story was out.
Whoever wanted to leak Webber’s musings apparently had no such trouble.  Looks like they went right to a pre-eminent local sleazeball, blogger and failed political candidate Chris Myers.
Myers blogged Webber’s posts out of context, and without remorse.  He then went on the talk show circuit defending his actions, even as public opinion went decidedly against him.  Myers seems like that kid you hated in school, with the annoying voice grating out, “Mrs. Campbell, someone’s chewing gum back here...”
How did Myers get like this, we wondered?  Fortunately, we were able to conjure Myers’ own double secret Internet journals by hacking into our own recollections of his public past.  Here, then, are some excerpts from Myers’ journal we bet really happened.

Tales from the crypt
Journal post, sometime in the early 21st Century.  “Tired of being teased and picked on by lesser mortals.  So what if I look like the criminal in a B-movie who gets snuffed in the first ten minutes.  So what if I have a perverse desire to be the center of attention even as I creep around in my basement. Somehow I must get revenge.”
Post from 2004.  “Remember how fun it was to be a tattle tale in elementary school?  What a hoot!  A veneer of accountability over the bizarre need to make the popular people squirm.  I need a way to use the same slimy tactics in the grown-up world.  But without the swirlies at recess.  Hmmm...maybe I’ll start taking potshots at public figures for cheap personal gain. That’s it!  Enough of this personal blogging that no one reads anyway.  I’ll go political!”
Later.  “Trouble.  Want to run for office so I can punish the fools who made me feel silly, but I’m a blatant Republican.  Just ran into this cool group of fellow travelers who are ticked off at the world called the Urban Coalition.  I think I’ve infiltrated them, and they’ll support my aspirations even though I’m a total dweeb with no chance of winning.  Eureka!”
Still later post.  “My nefarious scheme is progressing.  I’ve started a website called ‘Swamp Bubbles,’ where all the disgruntled douche bags like me can post all the character assassinations and unfounded rumors they want.  No one even has to know your secret identity!  It takes tattle tale ethics into the new millennium.  Hah!  They’ll rue the day they started criticizing my lack of notable abilities and ideas!”
Post from early 2007.  “Well, the rubes in the UC and the Young Republicans failed me again.  I have lost miserably in two attempts to lead this sorry community, once as school board member and again as statehouse rep.  And my blog is known as a place for miserable malcontents that no one finds relevant or credible.  Curses!  One more run for office, then I’ll have to weigh my options.”

Dirty deeds done dirt cheap
Late 2008.  “Three time loser as a candidate.  My party is thoroughly discredited.  My political life is a shambles.  My blog is a distant second on the local scene to the Glass City Jungle, just because the moderator over there fancies herself a journalist with some measure of principled decision making.  Damn it all, I need something, anything to rebuild from the ashes!”
Early this year.  “At last, my vindication!  An anonymous source has leaked information clearly meant to be kept private which was posted months ago and sheds little new light on anything anyone cares about, but which would make a few notable people feel like crap!  And they are people who have teased me about being such a total loser in the past!  Perfect!  Onto the blog we go...”
Late last week.  “Oh, cruel world.  My work has been turned against me.  They dare question the ethics of my tactics.  Why can’t anyone see my perfection?  I am surrounded by dolts.  But I have one last ditch effort before I bubble down into the swamp forever.
“I must begin to infiltrate Johnny Hildo...”