Viva Las Jesus

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Hitting the entertainment jackpot with Toledo’s churches

published December 6th 2006

Big, booming, concert hall-worthy speakers? Rockin’ tunes accompanied by nifty background graphics, PowerPoint presentations, and fully choreographed services? Get me to the church on time.

Getting your Jesus on has never been a more entertaining experience. At these big, bombastic megachurches, you’re unlikely to find leather-bound hymnals or be forced to listen to a fire and brimstone preacher dressed in a brown suit preach on for more than two hours … and for that, we shout "Hallelujah!”

City Paper visited several area megachurches (and a few smaller churches known for putting on a kickin’ show) in an attempt to gauge the entertainment value of these salvation supernovas.

Churchgoers: Jason Webber, Rick Claypool, Rieale Loveridge, Amanda Wolfe

Vineyard Church

1421 Holloway Road # B, Holland
(419) 866-5999
vineyardtoledo.org

The Ten Pronouncements: "As I drove up, I noticed …" the big blue vinyl banner that read ‘Vineyard Church’ strung up on the front of Springfield High School. As a card-carrying ACLU-member, my first instinct was to mutter "Separation of church and state?" "Once inside, I witnessed …" churchgoers greeting each other amidst the Springfield High School trophy collection. Coffee was available for a donation, Otis Spunkmeyer muffins were $1.25. "As I sat down, the folks near me were …" nice and friendly. I loaned my pen to the smiling woman to my left, who used it to write out a check for her weekly tithe. "The service kicked off by …" a half-hour of rousing Christian rock music, courtesy of Sun Moon Stars. "The music was …" Kickin’. Seriously, I want their CD. "The sermon lasted exactly 30 minutes and covered …" Sammy Adebeyi, a young man in his early-20s with Rick James dreads, told the story of how Moses and Aaron were the only two people courageous enough to first enter the "land of milk and honey," which was filled with "giants." He talked about "divine moments," which are those history-making decisions that we all have to make at some point in our lives. He illustrated his message by giving props to "that great theologian Eminem, who once said ‘If you had one shot to make all your dreams come true/Would you take it?’" Word! "The sweetest part was …" when a member named Bart recounted handing out hot chocolate and donuts to the shoppers waiting outside of Best Buy at 5 a.m. on Black Friday. Christian love doesn’t get more delicious than that. "The sourest part was …" the coffee. Kinda tepid. Chase & Sanborn, guys, Chase & Sanborn. It’s ‘The Hefty Coffee.’ "After the service ended …" with a closing session of worship music courtesy of Sun Moon Stars. "I was really struck by …" the sincerity. Everyone was welcoming and yet not one of those obnoxious, in-your-face churchgoers who ask you, "Hey! Never seen you here before. What’s your story?"

Energy Level: 5
Comments: Encore! Encore! The Christian rock stylings of the excellent worship band Sun Moon Stars is enough to rock the soul of the staunchest heathen. This musical quintet, led by Chumchal, had everyone on their feet (even though Chumchal said we could remain seated if we wanted to). The 100-or-so worshippers didn’t exactly start a mosh pit, but they were definitely feeling the joy of the Holy Spirit, clapping and bopping along. Their great sound system wouldn’t be out of place on a Vegas stage.

Old School v. High Tech: 4
Comments: The Vineyard may not have its own building, but it definitely has its holy thumb on the pulse of technology. Worship services are accompanied with a sweet PowerPoint presentation that flashes information about upcoming church events and the lyrics to the hymns. The Web site even includes recordings of sermons (playable on Windows Media Player) in case you miss a service.

The Final Word: The Vineyard is worth picking — great entertainment, great vibe and great people. — JW

Cornerstone Church

1520 S. Reynolds Road, Toledo
(419) 725-5000
cornerstonetoledo.com

The Ten Pronouncements: "As I drove up, I noticed …" acres of cars in the enormous, full parking lot. Hill’s retail stores never saw so much business! "Once inside, I witnessed …" the tremendous sanctuary, which was more like a convention center than a church. A central 20-foot screen flanked by a 10-foot screen on each side projected images of ministers, the band and enthusiastic worshippers. Also, a conspicuous lack of crosses or other religious symbols. "As I sat down, the folks near me were …" dressed in red. Like almost everybody else, including the choir and preachers. Lots of OSU fans celebrating that Sunday. "The service kicked off by …" 35 minutes of inundation with rocking gospel from Minister of Music Derick Thomas and his band. "The music was …" intense! We’re talking electric guitar jams, Bowie-worthy synth riffs and drum solos from a percussionist who could’ve been a member of the Blue Man Group. Combine the instruments with a full gospel choir and soulful soloists, and you have the makings of a well-produced, if non-traditional, religious experience. "The sermon lasted exactly 30 minutes and covered …" reaping the rewards of "the Lord’s rains" and "being holy even when nobody’s watching." Truth be told, it’s hard to say exactly how long these sermons lasted during this two-hour service, as lengthy musical interludes often interrupted the talking portions. "The sweetest part was …" the diversity! Cornerstone seemed blessedly color blind, as whites, blacks and others gathered to worship together. "The sourest part was …" not being sure if I was going through the motions because I didn’t want to be noticed as an outsider or because I was succumbing to the ministers’ hypnotic suggestions. "After the service ended …" Actually, I left five minutes early to beat the traffic. I guessed there were well over 2,000 worshipers in there – and a holy traffic jam is bound to be too sluggish to endure. "I was really struck by …" how the "holiness" sermon’s emphasis on making worshipers feel guilty about their sinful thoughts was cleverly followed by an invitation to offer additional money well after the collection plate had gone around.

Energy Level: 5
Comments: Yikes! Cornerstone’s ministers know how to work a crowd, and it’s hard not to get swept up in the frenzy. The service climaxed with a bombastic synthesizer crescendo as worshipers transformed into a mass of waving hands and praying voices.

Old School vs. High Tech: 5
Comments: The holy trinity of three cinema-quality projection screens form the piece de resistance of this tech-savvy production, as each service is recorded for broadcast online and television. Audio engineers for Imax theaters could claim responsibility for the sound system, as cinematic instrumentation replace the traditional organ and the sounds swept over the audience from an arc of speakers along the ceiling.

The Final Word: Sensory overload and charismatic ministers make Cornerstone a compelling experience for devout non-denominational Christians. The uninitiated, on the other hand, might find the crowd’s ecstasy and the relative lack of sermon substance more frightening than fulfilling. — RC

Cathedral of Praise – Toledo Christian Life Center

3000 Strayer Road, Maumee
419-866-2094
toledocop.org

The Ten Pronouncements: "As I drove up, I noticed …" the parking lot was packed. With so many Suburbans outside, you’d think the place was a Chevy dealership. "Once inside, I witnessed …" there was zero chance of going unnoticed. An onslaught of grinning ushers detected any degree of confusion and swooped in to the rescue. "As I sat down, the folks near me were …" greeting each other with exuberance usually reserved for family reunions. The mingling seemed almost choreographed and was only briefly interrupted as a newcomer was swallowed up. "The service kicked off by …" my absence. I had indulged in too much coffee and searched out one of the 18 bathrooms, which was spic and span. "The music was …" loud and heavy on the electric guitars, yet strangely mesmerizing. My feet were tapping along to the Christian rock tempos. "The sermon lasted exactly 30 minutes and covered …" learning life’s lessons and pursuing a path to wholeness in mind, body and spirit. Rev. Scott tried to sprinkle a dose of comedy into the sermon. A few more memorable lines were "God never intended us to stand at the Rapture bus stop" and "If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving isn’t for you." "The sweetest part was …" the welcoming and positive attitudes. "The sourest part was …" that I couldn’t find my car for 10 minutes. It was hiding behind a shiny blue Suburban. Go figure. "After the service ended …" Several members gave me a tour and a CD of the previous week’s sermon. "I was really struck by …" the sheer opulence and size of the joint. The Lord must be smiling down on Strayer Road.

Energy Level: 3
Comments: No one was possessed by the Holy Ghost or even really standing up, but folks seemed genuinely entertained and attentive.

Old School vs. High Tech: 5
Comments: Short of teleportation pads to the Holy Land, high-tech reigns supreme (well, after Jesus, of course), including plasma screen TVs, Broadband Internet access and audio and lighting gadgets galore. After all, there is an on-site television studio that records and produces Rev. Scott’s "Power for Living."

The Final Word: Don’t let the size of the church fool you — no one gets lost in the shuffle or made to feel unwelcome at this decidedly impressive — and entertaining — church. — RL

CrossRoads Community Church

6960 Sylvania-Petersburg Road, Ottawa Lake, Mich.
(734) 854-1301
excitingchurch.com

The Ten Pronouncements: "As I drove up, I noticed …" cars, and lots of them. CrossRoads was also the only brightly-lit building, or sign of civilization, for miles. Something about it, with its middle-of-nowhere setting and boxy structure, reminded me of an IKEA on a smaller scale. Kind of cool. "Once inside, I witnessed …" people drinking coffee during the service, a couple of folks walking around, a disarming and casual mood … despite the two enormous screens on either side of the stage offering a view of the action up front (with song lyrics during the music). The scale of the sanctuary was not as huge as expected. "As I sat down, the folks near me were …" relaxed, as though they were in someone’s very large living room for a meeting. It seemed very grassroots-Christian to me. "The service kicked off by …" not sure. I’d gotten out of work late, got lost and didn’t arrive until ten minutes into the service, after almost being hit head-on on Sterns. (I’d spent the rest of the trip down the dark road – and believe me, it’s a long one – driving 35 with my hazard lights on, in a panic. So, plan ahead.) "The music was …" fantastic! CrossRoads has a brilliantly talented band at the helm; while the music can be classified as contemporary pop/rock, they raised the bar. The guitar went straight to the soul, the drumming was profound, the vocalists sang their hearts out. Most attendees were on their feet, holding hands, everyone grooving to the music … the atmosphere of a casual rock concert. "The sermon lasted exactly 30 minutes and covered …" the significance of baptism, which we witnessed in person later. It was delivered in great form by the likeable Mark Cryderman, pastor of teaching and outreach, who explained the meaning behind baptism (and the symbolism of the "bathtub," or pool, on the stage next to him) through a series of down-to-earth, and often hilarious, personal anecdotes. "The sweetest part was …" the baptisms were very moving. As each person came up to the pool, his or her own account of the difficult journey to spiritual enlightenment was read. It was intimate and individual, and each was met with tremendous applause. "The sourest part was …" the drive … and I did feel a little guilty for being Catholic. "After the service ended …" some folks left, some hung around; there was no rehearsed protocol. "I was really struck by …" It didn’t even occur to me until after the service that not once did CrossRoads ask for money.

Energy Level: 4
Comments: People at CrossRoads are having a good time, enjoying each other’s company and enjoying their faith. It’s laid-back, yet still energetic — just not that frightening televangelist-energetic.

Old School vs. High Tech: 5
Comments: CrossRoads has great cameramen, a rockin’ sound system, wireless headset mics — everything you need for a good multimedia experience. An online SermonPlayer and podcasts are available, and Pastor Teal maintains a running blog. Their well-designed site includes fun and funny Q&As with the administration and staff.

The Final Word: Even though I have no intention of leaving my Tibetan Buddhist-meets-Catholic belief system, I’d go back. It added a new dimension to my beliefs and made me chill out for a while, something that’s nearly impossible most of the time. However, I’ll make someone else drive, or go during daylight hours. — AW

Fallen Timbers Community Church

Waterville Primary School,
457 Sycamore Lane, Waterville
(419) 878-8372
ftcchurch.com

The Ten Pronouncements: "As I drove up, I noticed …" few cars in the parking lot. Turns out I parked on the wrong side of the building. "Once inside, I witnessed …" casually-dressed worshippers enjoying free coffee and orange juice, milling around and talking quietly among themselves even as the band played their first song. "As I sat down, the folks near me were …" waking up. "The service kicked off with …" the band, playing a hymn as worshipers settled into folding metal chairs. "The music was …" light, folksy rock, like an unpretentious bar band, but at a church. "The sermon lasted exactly 30 minutes and covered …” responses to the question, "What can I thank God for this Thanksgiving." This discussion touched on faith, friends, family and freedom – and what some might find as overly nationalist rhetoric about thanking God for having placed the worshipers in America. "The sweetest part was …” the sincerity. Before prayer, Pastor Jeff acknowledged the personal struggles of some in the church community without too much personal detail. "The sourest part was …” the Iraq references. Favorite quote: "Even though over 2,800 soldiers were lost [i.e. killed], ten times that many were found [i.e. became Christians]. But they won’t tell you that in the media!" "After the service ended …” folks once again socialized over coffee before putting on their coats and rolling homeward. "I was really struck by …” did I mention free coffee?

Energy Level: 3
Comments: This laid back church doesn’t get all riled up, but don’t hold that against them. It seems like just the right amount of energy for an event that happens at 11 a.m. on Sunday morning.

Old School vs. High Tech: 3
Comments: Fallen Timbers’ technological centerpiece is its use of PowerPoint presentation technology to project song lyrics and Bible citations. While not so appealing if you see these presentations much at work or at school, the song lyrics loom large over pastoral backdrops that set the mood for worship time.

The Final Word: While one might find Fallen Timbers architecturally lacking, the primary school gym setting lets one harken back to those innocent days of school assemblies about the merits of drinking milk, eating vegetables and saying "no" to drugs. This friendly atmosphere doesn’t hit you over the head with pyrotechnics, and the inviting group doesn’t seem to make any special claim to private knowledge of what God wants – it’s folks doing the best they can with what they’ve got. — RC

CedarCreek Church

29129 Lime City Road, Perrysburg
419-661-8661
www.aroundthecreek.com
Sister location in Whitehouse, held inside Anthony Wayne High School, 5967 Finzel Road

The Ten Pronouncements: "As I drove up, I noticed …" cars, cars, and more cars. The place looks like a used car dealership. "Once inside, I witnessed …" a Beaner’s-worthy coffee bar with French vanilla and hazelnut varieties. There’s also fresh hot cocoa for the kids. Walking down a lil’ further, there’s the baptism wall, with pics and bios of members who were recently baptized. There’s a lot to explore when you’re inside a 54,000 sq. ft. facility and I only saw the first section …‘cause I had to get to church on time . "As I sat down, the folks near me were …" nice, polite, but rather quiet. I spied a teenage lass a few rows away sporting a swank DIY sweatshirt with an image of Travis Bickle from ‘Taxi Driver’ sewn to the front and I chuckled — I always received disapproving stares from my youth pastor when I used to wear my ‘Taxi Driver’ shirt to church. My, how times — and religion — have changed. "The service kicked off by …" rockin’ praise music, courtesy of the CedarCreek house band. "The music was …" seriously incredible. When you have an area-like concert stage, complete with booming speakers, fog, strobe lights and spotlights, you can’t help but be entertained. "The sermon lasted exactly 30 minutes and covered …” the ‘magic’ of Christmas. Pastor Kyle’s short but sweet sermon examined the changing face of Christmas over the years. "The sweetest part was …” the progressive attitude. It’s refreshing to hear a pastor tackle the abortion debate with intelligent thought. Kyle admonished people who ‘kill abortion doctors, yet say they’re for life.’ Additionally, Kyle gave props to Israel and the Jewish people for their strength and resilience over the millennia — a sentiment I never heard during the 16 years that I attended church. ‘Israel is a nation surrounded by nations trying to kill them, yet they’ve always survived. Why? Because they’re God’s chosen people.’ Pastor Kyle, you have my utmost respect and admiration for speaking such powerful words. "The sourest part was …” the five-minutes it took to get out of the parking lot. "After the service ended …” everyone filed out of the vast auditorium. It took a while to get out, but when you are one of 2,000 people, it’s not surprising. "I was really struck by …” the lights, sound, glitz and glamour were all great, but the power of the sermon and conciliatory attitude towards non-Christian religions had the biggest impact."

Energy Level: 4
Comments: No other house of worship exemplifies the ‘Viva Las Jesus’ spirit than CedarCreek. There’s no pulpit; rather, a full-size concert stage, dominated by a rockin’ Christian rock sextet that’ll make even the most sin-happy soul shout "Hallelujah!" This is kind of stage setup you see at the big concert palaces — fog machines; bright lights; big, flat screen monitors, the works. And the crowd — unsurprisingly — goes wild … though there was no one running down the aisle, screaming and leaping in spiritual ecstasy (always a fun sight to see).

Old School vs. High Tech: 5
Comments: As if the bridge-of-the-Starship Enterprise-like stage weren’t enough, CedarCreek is unarguably one of the most Internet-savvy churches in the area (visit www.aroundthecreek.com if you don’t believe me). You can download podcasts of weekly sermons onto your iPod (via iTunes), sermons are delivered with the accompaniment of cameras that beam the service into the adjacent chapel in case the auditorium is filled to capacity. What’s next? Pyrotechnics? Fire of God, indeed.

The Final Word: CedarCreek is a church that gets it right — great entertainment, great ministers who break the stereotypical "fire and brimstone" mold … and great French vanilla coffee. — JW

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